Blog

I have a good friend that I love. We normally agree on just about everything and he has a niche where he doesn’t like things that get a lot of publicity. An example is the Masters. I do not agree with his takes on this one, but I do genuinely understand his take. The Masters are sick, properly announce spring to the world, and is always a great watch. However every account on twitter sucks it off. “Oh wow listen to the perfect amount of bird noise.” “Masters is close, let’s relive Tigers 2019 Masters win. Did you notice he is wearing red?”

I get what he’s saying, people go over the top to suck it off, it’s weird. You can enjoy the masters and not make it your personality.

Recently, this friend has taken his efforts to harm the show Severance. I disagree with his take.

The Show Itself: A cool idea, good acting, and the characters were easy to like/hate. It was just weird enough to not be cringe. It was just normal enough to not be boring. A great show.

The People Online: Some good tweets, other strange tweets about the show and mildly obsessive.

Where I disagree with this person: When Game of Thrones ended, it was huge. Every account tweeted about it. The ending was awful, but people made it their entire personality. My college roomies and I watched each episode and watched together. It was awesome. It’s okay for a show to be awesome. Severance is awesome, it’s the first show to make a character turn into two, and gave them compete for the prioritization of the main character. Kinda sick, if you think about it.

Lon’s TV Series Suggestions:

ZeroZeroZero. – Amazon Prime

Holy smokes this show is top of my list. You will start the first episode and when it’s over ask yourself, how did that just happen. The show will keep you on the end of your seat. If you are looking for shows, it’s top of my recommendations.

3 Body Problem – Netflix

Show is kinda a mindfuck. For those of you out there that like deep shows that don’t really make sense, give it a whirl it’s pretty strong.

From – Amazon Prime

This show will work your brain. This is probably a top 5 show for me. If you like scary stuff (or not tbh) you should put this in your list.

Reacher – Amazon Prime

Show is kinda sus. I get the dude is huge but let’s just run the football and get him to beat some folks up. Good show tho, cheesy warning tho.

Hello everyone, I am here to break down the team 2 and team 3 rivalry that will take place at Lons bachelor party.

Location

Manistee National

Team Members

Team 2: Lon, Birthday Bets, Mr. Moist. This team has grit. This team has passion. This team has a potential to green out by the third hole. That is something as a team captain I will have to watch out for. If we hit the fairway, we are going to be in incredible shape. If we don’t, we have three good swings to get us close. Personally, I believe this team should be betting favorites of at least -200 while writing this. Here is a breakdown of the team:

BB – just a solid golfer. Hits the ball pretty far, very consistent out on the course. great vibes.

Mr. Moist: he will read this and say it’s fair. Moist can be an elite golfer, moist can be a not elite golfer. Moist on Team 2 is a fantastic addition. He hits the ball pretty damn good, and he is an all times vibe guy. No one vibes harder than Moisty. One thing to be aware of. Moist will have to watch his consumption of the green stuff. He will lead the charge with BB, and it worries me if he gets too into the ganja. I trust moisty tho.

Lon: Lon is Mr. 40. He can also be Mr. 126. What Lon needs to do, play smart golf, hit bombs, and don’t allow Team 3 to get in his head. This is going to be difficult, as I’ll explain about Team 3, they are all pretty damn good at it.

Our team should be good if we play our game.

An introduction to Team 3:

Team 3 has three member that will produce. Each of these team members, when on a team, make it their entire personality, and they give their all to the team. Each of these are also, treated like enemy of the state. They get into Lon’s brain with ease, and have slightly homoerotic relationships with each other, since becoming Team 3.

Coke Can Mike: Coke Can Mike is devious. He is always plotting something. His golf game is very similar to Lon’s, but when he’s on he is prime Jordan Spieth. What scares me about CCM, is he going to be very loud towards Team 2. He is going to start talking about it as soon as he sees you. He’s going to say “wow your golf game is incredible shape, why don’t we celebrate with a half gal of Jack Daniels?” You see what I mean there? He’s always scheming to get you off his game. There is also the worry about him “finding his ball.” He is a devious man, and he will use that to get in my brain.

Lock Lord: Dr. space (lock lord) has played golf with me around 15 times. He has never lost to me. This is an issue. He is not the best golfer, he’s not the worst. He plays like a diabetic 73 year old man. He keeps it in the fairway, and hits the ball 120 yards. Lock is an all time team guy. Him and Zupa are going to be in the half pipe doing tricks on each other all week. Lock Lord can be trusted, but that is what scares me. He’s going to maneuver into my little head so fast. He’s dangerous.

Zupa: Zupas golf game is interesting. I watched him break a driver on accident. Then he switched to the 1-Iron. Recently, hearing that Zupa has been known to hit his irons really well. If Zupa is hitting his irons well and CCM hits his driver well, team 2 is in trouble. Zupa also is a team player. He’s going to get team 3 going, and I genuinely don’t know if I’ll be able to have a conversation with him until this scramble is over. Zupa is going to let me have it. I know it, he knows it, it’s coming. Zupa is coming. Zupa also, I gotta be honest your game, I haven’t seen the blades yet. Happy to be wrong, but I’m not too worried.

What is the prediction:

Team 2 by probably 2 strokes.

Will come back with more on this matchup

I’m gonna start this off by saying, I am too am upset. I’ve watched every single wings game since 2015. I am a die hard. I own a ticket package, I spend way too much on Labatt Heavy’s at LCA, and my wallet is in constant hurt with the Wings.

I am also a big believer in Stevie. It’s beyond the point of him being a Stanley Cup Champion by building the Tampa Bay Lightning. It’s the fact that his draft picks are damn good. Seider & Raymond are stars. Edvinsson, although getting beat recently is very good. I also love ASP, MBN, & all the other prospects. The prospects are enough to be a top 5 ranked pool by Scott Wheeler from the athletic. What that means is we are going to be a damn good hockey club for the next 10 years.

The issue, we suck at scoring. Our forward groups lack scoring, and our current defense is ass. Watch a game and see what I see.

Why on earth is missing the playoffs acceptable? Where is the accountability for Stevie?

I mean honestly, you are right. The last time we were in playoffs, we were just trying to keep the streak alive. Since then, we have been hampered with bad contracts, but also, which Stevie is responsible for, have signed some pretty horrid contracts. Let’s break them down:

Justin Holl

Justin Holl was the whipping boy in Toronto, and we signed him thinking a change of pace in our squad would help. It didn’t, he sucks. Stevie should answer to this,

Vladimir Tarasenko

Really tough signing, I think all my time watching him he’s missing the net by an average of 10 feet lol.

David Perron

He left, but was a fantastic signing……. Who did we replace him with? Vladdy. Horrid management.

Patrick Kane

Great signing. If he walks this summer, going to be hard to get someone back.

I’m just gonna stop while I’m ahead but the haters have a point.

I am going to just say the amateur scouting has been enough……

A running rebel? Is that racist? Probably.

We are cooked. This team has no juice left. For years, this core group of players has been hyped up to no end, while achieving little. Falling short in major tournaments (2022 World Cup and 2024 Copa America) is one thing, but playing in front of empty stadiums in your home country has to be the most deflating shit ever.

This Concacaf Nations League provided an opportunity for a fresh start, for a confidence boost, and we proceeded to come out uninspired, confused and cowardly.

Key takeaways; Chris Richards is pure ass. The man looks like he is running in syrup, while simultaneously having brain lapses. Tim Ream gets the ball on his feet and stands there for 7 minutes while looking for a pass, allowing the opposition to completely reshape their defense. *Swing the ball quickly*. Tessman was a ghost. Tyler Adams playing as an 8 makes no sense. We don’t have a striker.

If Tim Weah didn’t play today, I think Pochettino could have been fired on the spot. The only positive from today was Weah. The only thing Pochettino got right today, was letting Weah fly up and down the channel with plenty of space to cook. What Poch got completely wrong was configuring Pulisic into the system.

Pulisic is currently in the midst of the best season in his career, playing out on the wing for Milan. He thrives in isolated situations. It’s obvious. Anyone with functioning eyeballs could understand this. Poch proceeded to squeeze him in between the 9 and high pressing fullbacks, leaving him no room to operate or create. Pulisic was completely lost. It was obvious 15 minutes into the match. Going into halftime it was going so bad that any rational person was thinking that surely Poch would adjust. He proceeded to run the same exact setup until the 85th minute. All second half, Musah was the fullback on Pulisic’s side, always wide of him, always squeezing him inside with no space. It was hard to get the ball to the best player on the team. Poch really saw Pulisic cooking all season at wing and said “imma not do that”.

Outside of that dumbass shit, these players aren’t what we say they are. At least from a national team perspective, or maybe as a collective group. Can’t quite put my finger on it. What I do know tho, is that we’re cooked for 2026. We will embarrass ourselves at home, not that any Americans will care. The lack of fan care speaks slightly to the burnout of this group I imagine. We have no current hope. No players in the shadows to come save us. No manager that can solve our problems.

I shall shift my hope to 2030.

One of the most electrifying times of year is upon us. We are smack dab in the prime time of college hoops. Conference tournaments just concluded, the brackets are out, and the first four games are finishing up tonight with American vs Mount St. Mary’s and Texas vs Xavier. Before I get into my blog I’m here to say that the first four games need to be the bubble teams and conference champs need an auto-bid to the round of 64. It’ll happen next year I just want to say, “I told you so”.

(These are in order of time of tip off)

McNeese State +275 (vs Clemson)

Have you seen the videos? This kid better be in the fucking One Shining Moment video. I can’t stand the kids hair though. Regardless, kid has aura.

Drake +220 (vs Missouri)

I’m not going to fact check anything but I’m pretty sure the head coach from Drake came from a Division 2 school, let’s say somewhere in Iowa, a couple years ago. His current Drake team is lead by a bunch of D2 All-Americans. The team is a Cinderella. It’s right in front of our eyes. Their best player is some white guy that can ball, yes from D2, and he’ll probably go to Iowa State next year. If he’s a Marquette Golden Eagle my good friend Alex Walsh would be ecstatic. Again, I didn’t look anything up to verify.

Lipscomb +850 (vs Iowa State)

I made this decision based on a couple rash ones. I saw a chart that showed teams and where they liked to shoot the ball. The Bisons love the three ball and three balls will cause first round exits. I also vividly remember my senior year of high school and Iowa State choking away a game at about the same time as this game, 12:30 on Friday. It was a bracket buster for me. Had the cyclones going to the Final Four. Now, as an adult with a +2 handicap, I now know that Iowa State are nothing but a bunch of frauds that live in the exact middle of Iowa.

Grand Canyon +415 (vs Maryland)

Bryce Drew baby. They won a game or two last year right? They must’ve. All I know is he’s got a good thing going down there. Coach Drew got the boys hot and horny down in Phoenix or Scottsdale or Glendale, Arizona. Maryland is a good team, young team. But, Derick Queen is worried about being a 76er next year. He doesn’t even know what color GCU is.

Oklahoma +165 (vs UCONN)

Call me whatever you wish about putting a 9 upsetting an 8. The betting number has a “+” in front of it so you if you’re bitching about it you can suck on the bread of Christ for all I care. Big East is overrated. Connecticut is done until they want to win again in 2035. The Sooners can shoot, rebound, and run. I have them beating Florida to move onto the Sweet 16. I have the going all the way to the Elite 8 losing to none other than the Bryant Bulldogs.

Liberty +235 (vs. Oregon)

You need Ben Bittle or Whathisname Shelstead to have a really good game and I just think Liberty is going cover the alternate spread. Oregon’s uniforms are really really mid this year which just can’t happen when in Bend.

If you’re waiting for me to have Bryant beating Michigan State you’re a fucking imbecile. 62/1 dumbass.

When asking Chat GPT what the MLS is, it will tell you the following: No problem! The Major League Soccer (MLS) is the top professional soccer league in the United States and Canada. Founded in 1993 and starting its first season in 1996, MLS has grown significantly in terms of talent, popularity, and competition. It is considered one of the top soccer leagues in North America.

What ChatLON will tell you, its a league that is so in love with money, that it will never be loved in the United States.

I have a problem with the MLS. I do not take away the fact that they signed Messi, signed with Apple TV to make a ton of money, or really any other fact that they are the top league in North America, and they are doing pretty well.

What I hate is the MLS is not a grass roots league. It is not a league that is exciting. Its an American attempt at being a Corporate League to make money. That is it. The product is horrid, the TV broadcasts are not good (they somehow failed doing a quality Golazo show,) and there is no buzz with 90% of Americans.

Enough mean words about the MLS, now lets talk why I am even blogging about the MLS. Let me introduce you to the USL, the United Soccer League. Yesterday, March 18th, the USL Owners voted to become the First American league to adopt Promotion and Relegation. What does that mean for non ball knowers (The Operator if you are reading this, this is you) is that each game matters. You are at the bottom of the table – you are going to USL League Two (or whatever they will call it.) You are at the top of the Table – you are either winning or moving up a league. In a sport that American’s don’t really watch (or have not fully fallen in love with the team’s near them) this will bring eyeballs. It will bring passion. It will bring attention and pride, but it will also bring a grass roots fandom to the game of Soccer in America.

Now Lon, you have been hating on the MLS a lot in this blog, what should they do? Fantastic question Lon, let me ask the reader a question here. If you had an asset that was worth $690 Million, would you do anything to depreciate that value? That $690 Million is the average worth of an MLS Franchise. If you introduce Pro-Rel to the MLS, what owner would vote yes for that? You are now depreciating the value of your team, and lets be honest, there isn’t many American MLS Fans die harding going to low performing teams.

What the MLS should do is buy in to the USL, make the MLS the top flight, and figure out somehow how to let MLS owners keep the value of their club (or league if that also would work so they don’t lose money) and merge with the USL. Who loses in this arrangement? Small market teams now will have the opportunity to move up rankings to the top flight. There is a TV Deal (that is ass broadcasts Ill keep saying it) that they could use, and North American Soccer would be set for success. Small Markets = Win, Big Time MLS Owners = Keep their investment. Talk to me why I am wrong.

Thanks, F the MLS.

Lon

Hello, I am in Indy for the Big Ten Basketball Tournament for my friend Birthday Bet’z bachelor party. I got to travel early due working in the Indianapolis Region, so I have had 24 hours to spy on other Big Ten Teams.

Here is my feedback, and maybe (absolutely) how I will choose to bet on these teams.

Oregon: Very tall team. They are all wearing the Oregon green, which in person is a bit gross. Additionally, they acted like they were very young (I guess the meme saying of they are just kids, is actually true they acted like me when I was 18.) I have some insider information however. I am a tall guy, six foot three (not a big deal.) The showers at this hotel are a bit small. I am betting that due to Oregon’s height, the showers are going to play a big role. Imagine sleeping in a foreign bed, then you get into a shower that you have to bend over. Dare I see, Injury/soreness prone? We take whoever comes out of the Minny/Northwestern game, and we take them big. (The sad part about this is I truly believe in what I am saying here. I was in the shower and it came to me.)

Iowa: Okay, I really shouldn’t be the one to say this but they look really pale. I wouldn’t put money on them after seeing them ordering starbucks teas.

Minnesota: I am new to blogging, someone please insert the “Minnesota” Joe Biden Meme. This team, for legitimately zero reason has me ready to hammer. Well, I lied. One reason is I shared the elevator with a coach. Old dude, probs 60 years old. Didn’t seem like in the best shape. But he was wearing full Minnesota Golden Gopher gear including the white spandex thing that cover the knees. He whispered to the dude in the elevator “Go to Ikes and Jones, don’t eat here. I worked plenty of Nike All American Games here, that is the place to eat.” Now let me be the first to explain, I am not 100% sure what that tournament is, but he said it in confidence. Therefore, I will be betting Minnesota to win two games. I will not bet them against MSU but will take my winnings in back to back Minny wins, and hammer MSU Spread.

I hope this helps you all in your search for winners, and enjoyed my hotel blog.

BTW, big Hyatt Guy, Hyatt in Indy, old, nice, gets the job done. A run the football Hotel.
Peace,
Lon.