Author: BirthdayBetz

One of the most electrifying times of year is upon us. We are smack dab in the prime time of college hoops. Conference tournaments just concluded, the brackets are out, and the first four games are finishing up tonight with American vs Mount St. Mary’s and Texas vs Xavier. Before I get into my blog I’m here to say that the first four games need to be the bubble teams and conference champs need an auto-bid to the round of 64. It’ll happen next year I just want to say, “I told you so”.

(These are in order of time of tip off)

McNeese State +275 (vs Clemson)

Have you seen the videos? This kid better be in the fucking One Shining Moment video. I can’t stand the kids hair though. Regardless, kid has aura.

Drake +220 (vs Missouri)

I’m not going to fact check anything but I’m pretty sure the head coach from Drake came from a Division 2 school, let’s say somewhere in Iowa, a couple years ago. His current Drake team is lead by a bunch of D2 All-Americans. The team is a Cinderella. It’s right in front of our eyes. Their best player is some white guy that can ball, yes from D2, and he’ll probably go to Iowa State next year. If he’s a Marquette Golden Eagle my good friend Alex Walsh would be ecstatic. Again, I didn’t look anything up to verify.

Lipscomb +850 (vs Iowa State)

I made this decision based on a couple rash ones. I saw a chart that showed teams and where they liked to shoot the ball. The Bisons love the three ball and three balls will cause first round exits. I also vividly remember my senior year of high school and Iowa State choking away a game at about the same time as this game, 12:30 on Friday. It was a bracket buster for me. Had the cyclones going to the Final Four. Now, as an adult with a +2 handicap, I now know that Iowa State are nothing but a bunch of frauds that live in the exact middle of Iowa.

Grand Canyon +415 (vs Maryland)

Bryce Drew baby. They won a game or two last year right? They must’ve. All I know is he’s got a good thing going down there. Coach Drew got the boys hot and horny down in Phoenix or Scottsdale or Glendale, Arizona. Maryland is a good team, young team. But, Derick Queen is worried about being a 76er next year. He doesn’t even know what color GCU is.

Oklahoma +165 (vs UCONN)

Call me whatever you wish about putting a 9 upsetting an 8. The betting number has a “+” in front of it so you if you’re bitching about it you can suck on the bread of Christ for all I care. Big East is overrated. Connecticut is done until they want to win again in 2035. The Sooners can shoot, rebound, and run. I have them beating Florida to move onto the Sweet 16. I have the going all the way to the Elite 8 losing to none other than the Bryant Bulldogs.

Liberty +235 (vs. Oregon)

You need Ben Bittle or Whathisname Shelstead to have a really good game and I just think Liberty is going cover the alternate spread. Oregon’s uniforms are really really mid this year which just can’t happen when in Bend.

If you’re waiting for me to have Bryant beating Michigan State you’re a fucking imbecile. 62/1 dumbass.