A Legend Signs Off.

Today is a sad day in the soccer world. Today, one of the greats announced his retirement. 

You see, in the modern age of sports, broadcasting plays a crucial role in satisfying the cravings we have as sports fans, when consuming through a stream/broadcast.  In the booth, on the call, the commentators are responsible for delivering color and excitement for the viewers at home. In those roles, there are soccer commentators, and then there was Ray Hudson. Ray is stepping away from the booth after 23 years. Ray brought a whole new feel to the booth through his flavorful adjectives, quotes and sounds. While most broadcasters describe the play on the field and the goals, Ray felt them. His calls were explosive metaphors, insane analogies and passionate grunts and orgasms. A couple samples from the past, of his most famous quotes, read as; “You could drop a tarantula in his pants and he’d still be cool”, when describing Messi, or “It’s orgasmic! It’s magisterial! It’s like a monkey playing a trombone with a sombrero on!”, while jizzing his pants over a Cristiano Ronaldo goal. He didn’t just comment on the game, he blew loads. 

Ray, or Mr. Cum as I like to call him, brought me joy on every call he was on, and I know I am not alone in that feeling. In every game he was apart of, you prayed for a banger to be scored or a beautiful build up from the attack. You longed for an amazing save to be made to help him squeal like a pig. The longer the build up, the better the goal or save, the better the nut. He would get so worked up, that I truly believe he was shooting his testicles through his urethra. I have never seen or heard anyone like him. 

It is a sad day that we are losing him. Long live Mr. Cum. Long live SpRay Hudson. May your next climax be sensational and your next rope be long. Cheers to Ray, our sweet prince.